The Small Boobs Complex



Or, how to find self confidence with a small(er) rack


Some women are super self-confident about their racks. They are the ones with bulbous, fatty tissues that magically fill out just any cup just so. I envy these women, because I am most definitely not one of them. I’ve always had small boobs, and always felt the need to apologize for them. It’s what I call the small boobs complex. And it sounds a little something like this: apologetic.


All my small boobie ladies know the drill, right? We apologize. Because ours aren’t the kind of boobs that a large hand squeezes and melts into. Nay, ours are the kinds of boobs that a large hand completely eclipses (nay, obliterates).

Ours are also the kinds of boobs that you adorn with push-up bras — only to find yourself at the end of the night, date in bed, push-up bra-less, flashing a package that is definitely, awkwardly not as per advertised at dinner. Whoops, sorry!

As the trickster guru Alan Watts once wrote on the ailments of modern clothing:

The brassiere is a surgical appliance which may be necessary for ladies with excessively pendulous bosoms, but otherwise it is without value except that of deception, as when falsies are used as compensation for unduly small breasts.

Unduly Small Breasts (& Confidence)

Over the years, I’ve thought of everything and anything in the hopes of never having to apologize again for my unduly small breasts. I reasoned that if only I could have bigger boobs, I would be more confident as a woman. I thought about gaining weight. Hoping, of course, it would only magically go to my breasts. I contemplated getting on birth control, because bigger boobs are as much a symptom as depression, nausea, migraines, decreased libido, and long-term infertility. Right?

I even fantasized about getting full C-cup implants. But ultimately, the scissors scared me away. In the end, I’ve never actually seen any one of these strategies through. Instead, I’ve stayed, wallowing in the perplexing complex of my small boobs.

First up: disclaimer. To any woman who has taken the leap to boost her self-confidence by boosting her breasts, I salute. Truly, to each her own.

For the rest of us though, who (like myself) still grapple with the size of their teeny melons and yet have developed a general sense of complacency (or fear of foreign intrusions), there is still hope. It’s old fashioned. And perhaps the hardest effort of them all. People will always try to talk you out of it. And you will definitely question your path a million times over. But, if you can master it, you will have squandered the small boob complex (and your self-esteem will rise immediately).

Believe me.

The answer?

Love. Small boob love, to be more precise. Sound cheesy? Think again, because turns out there are some really, really legitimate reasons to love your small chest. But don’t take it from me. Take it from our community of amazing women in The Pleasurey. Their answers serve as a kind of manifesto for all us small-chested women the world over and I’ve taken the liberty to compile them into a list. I do believe that if we small-breasted women folk can master these 6 things, we are set to gain the sexual confidence bespoke of any well-endowed woman. Truth.

6 reasons to fall in LOVE with your small breasts

1. Your Partner:
OK, maybe it sucks to start a list about self-love with the kind of partner you’re with. But honestly, this point kept coming up over and over again in the group’s answers. Truth is, perhaps more important than anything else in learning to love your small boobs is finding a partner that celebrates your breasts. And believe it or not, there are a ton of men out there that love small boobs. Or, that love ALL boobs (big or small). Or, that will take any kind of boob so long as the ass is there. Whichever way your partner spins, just make sure his beliefs about your cup size celebrates you as a Goddess just the way you are.
And if he’s not, heed this advice:

Self Confidence and The Small Boobs Complex

2. Touch:
The science is out there, and it firmly attests to the fact that small boobs tend to be more sensitive to touch. Indeed, for small-chested women our nerve endings are more exposed than larger cups. This means, we get off a lot easier with a simple lick or touch on the breasts. Now that’s definitely something to love!

Self Confidence and The Small Boobs Complex

3. Sports:
True, bigger boobs may be bouncier in bed. But that means they’re also bouncier on runs. We’ve all heard about the kind of back and shoulder pain associated with larger breasts. The benefit of small boobs when it comes to physiology and sports is pretty much in our favour. Basically, small boobs means we can go in stealth mode and kick ass, or something like that.

Self Confidence and The Small Boobs Complex

4. Money:
Lingerie is not cheap. One of the amazing joys of small breasts is that, you can often forgo bras altogether. Or, you can get away with simpler (re: cheaper) unpadded or unsupported designs. This means, in the long term, you’re saving sweet, sweet money. Win.

Self Confidence and The Small Boobs Complex

5. Age:
Truth is, breasts sag no matter what cup size you are. This is just a fact of age. But, small breasts bear the weight much differently. Meaning, they don’t end up at your navel.

Self Confidence and The Small Boobs Complex

6. The Male Gaze:
It is rare to find a man staring down at my chest. But I have seen it happen to other women. For some, this could be a very empowering tool in their arsenal of manipulation. And to them I say, kuddos. But a lot of the time, big breasts can induce a certain kind of tunnel vision that depreciates all your other values. Just take it from Amanda, who said it best when she wrote:

Self Confidence and The Small Boobs Complex


Listen, I don’t think I will ever stop fantasizing (and fetishizing) bigger breasts. I think a part of me will always yearn to have them. It seems like there is something very basic about this lust, just like a good butt.

But, bar any natural gains, truth is after weighing the benefits it just doesn’t personally seem worth the effort to change a package that helps me save money, run faster, be taken more seriously, feel perky longer, and get me giddy excited at the simplest touch.

That sounds like a pretty big win, if I do say so myself. And I hope this list gives all of us small-chested ladies the self-confidence to fall in love with them, too.

Have your own thoughts on embracing small boobs? Tell us below and keep the conversation going!

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